[insert reactions here]
I think I love you.
~me, of course!
ps Jax only talks about once, I'm still trying to figure out how to change fonts on this thing. Good luck, and let me know if it's unreadable! <3
FOUR
The monster will still not leave me alone. If the monster stays I am afraid I will not remember it is there. Then I will be lost. My friend will not be Sarah or Jane. She will be Sarah-Jane. Why choose when anyone can be anyone?
FIVE
Sarah-Jane is alive today. She is like me, but louder. She likes to talk out loud. Maybe my parents will not worry so much about me now. I will call Sarah-Jane SJ and she and I will be the best of friends. SJ doesn’t like blueberries.
SJ and I went for a walk. I was in the stroller, and she was in my head. She likes to sleep today. Maybe she does not always like to sleep? I don’t want her to always sleep. The monster is still in me. I must make the monster go away.
SIX
SJ started to talk today. She talked about food. My parents still cannot understand her, but she can talk, and maybe now they will stop making me look at strange people who try to make me talk. I don’t want to talk.
SJ said “poo” next because I made a poo. I scooted over but I couldn’t go far enough and I still smelled it. My parents were happy and didn’t notice what poo means until I cried because I don’t like poo. But I like poo. You should like poo, too. No. Don’t like poo. Really. Just... don’t.
I can talk and you can’t. That makes me right about poo.
4 Years Later
SEVEN
I am Juliet Delaney Carter. My parents didn’t name me. I named me instead of taking a name I didn’t know. I am 5 years old. People tell me I am very smart, and also very insane. I can’t talk, but I have another person living inside of my head. Her name is Sarah-Jane. She is my very best friend. I dislike her quite a bit, but I have no friends except her because nobody likes me. I am in the second grade at Orchid Stream Elementary school.
Sarah-Jane is good at talking. I can type things, but she can only speak. So I type what one of us thinks and she says what she thinks. We are very different in this. My parents havent noticed that we are different. I am quiet and I don’t like humans, and she loves watching and sorting the actions of everyone she talks to- a lot of people.
My name is Sarah-Jane Loisette Smith. I am the smartest person in attendance at Orchid Stream Elementary School, although that is very obvious as the student population is made up of idiots except for the girl living in my body who is merely mediocre. I want somebody smart living in my head, not someone who can only type and can’t talk. People who cannot talk have mental problems.
The girl living in my head has a name. Her name is Juliet. I like that name. That is all that I like about her, other than that she likes people less than I do. She avoids them, and I just laugh at their foolishness. Although I am only in the second grade, I am the only smart person in the school.
I hate having Juliet live in my head. I want her to go. Or to spite her I could do something else- make her an enemy. Not make me her enemy, but make a mind. I’m sure if she could do it, I can. I will name my sister of mind Jaquelin. I will not tell Juliet. It will make her mad.
I like to make Juliet mad.
EIGHT
There is a boy at my school who is far less stupid than the others. I think he hates me because I don’t like people. He is interesting to watch, though. He sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth and cocks his head when he’s working. It’s funny when he scratches everything out and then grins. His name is Malcolm. He cannot be as stupid as my SJ thinks he is. She makes me angry with her hatred towards everyone who’s not as smart as she thinks she is. She’s not as smart as she thinks, though. I could never tell her that. She would hurt me.
Jaquelin is growing as an idea. She is slowly turning sentient. I am excited that Juliet hasn’t noticed. It does worry me a bit, though. If Juliet hasn’t noticed something new, that could mean that it’s all only happening in my head. Though if it’s happening in mine, it’s sure to be happening in hers... either way, I will have plenty of time later to think about it, I’m sure...
Malcolm Regardo is a horrible person. He ignores his teachers and so-called friends, and then antagonizes them. He purposely gives people false hope that he’ll do something right. He makes it look like he’s working hard and then scribbles everything out, crumples his paper into a ball, throws it into the bin and snorts with his stupid little laugh. I don’t like the boy, but, oh, is he cunning and incredibly charming. I must get to know him better.
NINE
I am! I exist, I think, I eat, I sleep, I breath! I am sentient! I will not be kept silent. I want noise!I am Jaquelin, goddess of destruction and pain! I am the greatest monster and villain in all of history, and I always will be! Everything tastes better when it is mixed with a dash of blood.
What have I done?
TEN
I don’t know what I did wrong. Jackie was supposed to be like me, so we could be together forever without killing each other. Juliet isn’t as mad at me as I hoped she would be. In fact, she isn’t mad at all.
I hoped that she would be mad. What does that make me? Is Jackie just an incarnation of the worse part of me? I’m scared. I’m so scared...
Poor Sarah-Jane. She knew not of the monster in my heart until it turned sentient. She could not have know that she would do this to us. In fact, I had forgotten. I only hope that I can calm the monster down before it destroys us completely.
You will never be able to win this battle. I will always win. I want not to battle you. I will never battle you. I mean to make you my brethren. And you will never win. Actually, she would, but she won’t, for one reason and one reason only: It’s my turn.
Six months later
ELEVEN
Jaquelin has started to calm down. I think that she may not be the monster I thought she was. She is, of course, rooted in hatred, but perhaps she is more than just that. She is, after all, capable of restraint, and protection, and loyalty. Perhaps she is therefore capable of love.
I do hope she is capable of love. She seems to like Sarah-Jane alright. I don’t know... perhaps she needs someone to love in order to do so. I can try to help on that account. But I do feel bad for Sarah Jane. She tried so hard to be happy, and was left with guilt and fear and damage. I only wish I could help.
I made the biggest mistake of my life when I created Jaquelin. I should’ve kept to myself and starved rather than created a monster out of the worst of myself. Juliet said that there was a monster already and that I only gave it the opportunity to emerge, but she’s wrong. Jackie is far too stupid and rash to have been that clever or patient to wait so long for her time. Oh, god, I hope this isn’t her time. I’m not ready to die. I can’t die yet- not by her.
Maybe I was wrong...? HA! Jaquelin is never wrong. Jaquelin’s creator was right only in bringing her to life. Jaquelin is forever. Jaquelin will kill 3 before she will breathe her first breath outside of this body.
Bodies are for living in- alone. No “Sisters”, no aliens, no voices. Only one will live here. I promise, I will prevail.
3 YEARS LATER
TWELVE
I know what I have to do. I have to get Juliet to help me. It feels very wrong to be asking her for help, but I’ve got to. Otherwise, I’ll be living in hell for the rest of my life before I actually get there.
The problem isn’t even the asking, really. I find it hard to ask people for things, but even subconsciously I now know I have no other choice. The problem will be to get Juliet to agree. Don’t get me wrong, I know Juliet loves pretty much everybody, but I don’t think even she would be willing to help me with this. I jacked p everything the first time, and I know adding another person might be even more dangerous for the then four of us than it is for three now. For once I want somebody not to be hurt. It’s a strange feeling.
I think I’m going to have to create another soul. I’m afraid, though. Last time, I created someone out of the worst of me, who then brought the monster inside us to life. I don’t know that I can do this on my own. I need Sarah Jane. She would never help me, though. She thinks that this is entirely her own fault, when I am the one who holds the blame.
I must ask my sister to help me.
Blood will be spilled until the end of time. Human blood - the blood of souls.
(that last bit was also Jax)
(that last bit was also Jax)
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